How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

Product Information

We can’t necessarily do anything about the gender-role programming we received in childhood (and continue to receive). Due to societal pressures, mothering and keeping house are, like it or not, still more central to women’s identities overall than men’s.

However, I believe that the book will be helpful to any new parents or soon-to-be new parents, as it outlines actionable strategies on how to prepare for and manage the flow of work that comes with having a new person enter your family. C. and I have 10 years of experience working with clients struggling with a range of issues including depression, anxiety, addictions, relationships, grief and loss, trauma, sexual health, and suicide prevention. It begins to chip away at your connection, your joy, and what you hoped this season of your life would feel like. Saying something as simple as “Thank you for picking up dinner” will make your spouse feel like they did something right. It can be as simple as Thanks for changing that last epic diaper, I was about to pass out from the fumes.He doesn’t have it, and if you don’t let him learn, you’re engaging in “maternal gatekeeping,” or keeping him from participating in the nitty-gritty of childcare. And I also discovered what truly matters to me in the long term: to be mindful and learn to manage the distraction from the immediacy of everyday activities.

I know what it’s like to experience challenging, high-risk pregnancies, difficult labours, and postpartum struggles.

I’ve seen that even though most couples post on social media that they’re so in love with their new little family (and maybe they truly are), the couple is more often than not, having a hard time with the transition into parenthood. You need to negotiate weekend time, and ask each other ‘what are we doing this weekend that meets everyone’s needs? to begging and pleading with the universe for a night that would bring a mere two hours of consecutive sleep was a shock to our systems. A girl’s first job is often babysitting, and in adulthood she will attend baby showers in which (whether she wants it or not) she gets an earful about the best straightjacket sleep-sack and best infant containment system; by talking to older mothers, she perhaps has already formed an opinion on cry-it-out versus co-sleeping or attachment parenting versus arming children with machetes or whatnot.

Which brings me to Jancee Dunn’s new book How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids, which she wrote after a crisis in her own marriage involving division of labor, anger, vicious fights, and finally, the realization that if things didn’t change, divorce was inevitable. Yes, motherhood is challenging, but it’s also possible to completely transform how this experience feels. Also, in my relationship, saying thank you (and meaning it) causes both of us to want to help each other more, and make one another’s lives easier whenever we can. I would surprise Tom by bringing home his favorite wine, or send him a quick text to make him laugh rather than remind him to bring home paper towels; if I had a rough day, Tom would lay out my pajamas and offer a quick massage. This is your time to work one-on-one with a professional who has the proper tools to help you navigate your biggest pain points.To me, she continues, “and maybe it will help that person get out of their marriage—to ask themselves, ‘why am I letting myself be treated like this?